While Thursday was a promising start, Friday and now today, Monday, was a lot more frustrating. I think the novelty of having a sub that they knew was going to be in for several days in a row wore off, and there was a distinct increase in disrespect. Talking while I gave directions, drama at indoor recess, and overall just not getting work done--on the part of a handful of students. There were many others that listened very well, and I feel awful that they had to deal with a stressed out substitute. Not a fun situation for them, and I hope I didn't translate my frustrations onto them by being short with them. I am just extremely tired of having to repeat directions because people were not listening the first time. They can be such a great class, which is why I felt disappointed in the last two days--especially since I saw how good they can be on Thursday. I think, in the future, a more realistic goal of maybe fifteen stars would be better, as we only reached nine. Of course, we would have made it if all three days had been like Thursday. Three students made it to Outstanding today, one of them was kinda a surprise, but hey--I'm glad he made it. The other two were the absolute best students through this three-day period, which is why I'm liking this system better than the random raffle, where students were not necessarily rewarded appropriately for the behavior choices they made. The downfall to the chart, though, was that students were way too preoccupied by their place on the chart, meaning the next time I use it, I think I'll have a "if you talk about it, you move down a space" rule? I think this is the highest grade level I would use it with, however...I don't know that fourth and fifth graders would get that much out of it, and frankly might find it too silly.
All in all, these three days of course could have been a LOT worse. But they also could have been a lot better. After not much of a relaxing weekend (Foundations on Saturday and Mother's Day family festivities on Sunday), I am just so tired. And I've got class tonight for four hours and the rest of the week ahead. There's a chance I'll be back in here tomorrow morning or even Wednesday morning and the prospect just makes my head hurt.
I'm definitely at the point in the year where I'm ready to be done. This internship has been an amazing experience and I LOVE my school and its staff and its kids...but I'm just done. I'm tired, and I'm done. Thank goodness it's already mid-May, but I know I've got a couple more weeks of constant subbing before it gets to that end of the year period when the teachers are all usually here. Personal days, meetings, and testing are going to to wear me down, but I feel better talking with the former interns who work here, knowing that they felt the same at this time. I don't mean to be ungrateful at all, I'm just exhausted, haha. Enough complaining, though. This weekend all I need to worry about is Exceptionalities homework and cleaning my room: no more Foundations to dread, and, unlike last weekend, I'm not going to be dreading a "long" term subbing assignment (HOPEFULLY.).
I've learned a lot over the past few days, and I've definitely learned that patience is what I need to work on. Patience and classroom management. It's been a real eye-opener about teacher organization, and I'm already planning for when I (hopefully someday) have my own room. What I think I've learned most of all these past three days is that I can do it, I can make progress with a class full of kids (21 in this room, one of the larger ones), and everyone says subbing is a lot more challenging in some ways than when you have your own room and have control....here's hoping! I've already had a great deal of respect for teachers, and this experience has added to it like crazy!!
*~Keep Moving Forward~*
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